rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Our Florida legislature is currently debating whether or not to add a Jesus Christ vanity tag to the options available (Manatees, Sea Turtles, Sand Dollars etc) to car-owners who want to express their individualism.

Inevitably, many people are up in arms about it (Bones’ Rule # 3). Most of the outrage is political. I am MYSTIFIED why nobody seems particularly incensed over the legislative time and taxpayers’ money being spent on something which, in the context of our turbulent times, has to be seen as a project of limited value, but there you have it.

Apparently, a similar law has passed in South Carolina, but its constitutionality has been questioned so tag production is on hold. I really hope these do pass in Florida. Why?, because I know North Florida. We have a special style that exists nowhere else, and I CANNOT WAIT to see the first Jesus tag on the back of a pick-up sporting a set of Truck Nutz.

You know it will be days rather than weeks, if the law passes. C’mon Florida policymakers – do me a solid!

I went for lunch at Harpoon Louies today. In the parking lot I saw something I have never seen before. Criminally, I was without my camera and I can’t work my ‘phone, which is so advanced it would defeat a NASA scientist. In fact, they do not have technology even close. It’s alien technology (or at least it might as well be).

Anyway, the picture below is not mine, rather it is one I have filched (good word) from the Interweb. It is almost precisely what I saw, though. Down to the color of the truck:

"Truck Nutz"

It’s a scrotum. In chrome. On a truck.

Now imagine the thought process of the genius entrepreneur who decided that the one thing a man could no longer live without was a chrome set of family jewels for his truck. Don’t think too much about it, though. Freudian danger lies that way.

I have since discovered that these charming accessories are all-the-rage in the “country” community. Any number of places online to purchase them and any number of styles – hanging low left or hanging low right, shaved or ball-fro – whatever!

Click here for a pair. I have installed some on my Aston in gold. Ironic.

Update: These are illegal in Florida, apparently.