rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

….with Verne Troyer. The nailer of Playboy models is in the news again, this time for his antics on UK Celebrity Big Brother. As my friend The Hog actually once said, little people “as everybody knows, are always getting into ‘scrapes'”. If Verne is anything to go by, he is absolutely correct. Look at these pictures:

shame

And eating a pot of honey, like Pooh.

shame shame

I am not sure what to make of all this. It just doesn’t seem right, somehow………

Surprisingly, the marriage of Verne Troyer (known best as Mini Me, from Austin Powers), to 5’6″ Playboy model Genevieve Gallen was not entirely a bed of roses. On the upside, there was a lot of creative sex

She recalls: “I would dress up in my sexiest lingerie every day and try all sorts of role-play games. Sometimes I dressed as a prostitute, other times a cheerleader—and even a schoolgirl.

“I once put on a dark wig, some sexy lingerie and put on a Russian accent so he would think I was a high class call girl.

On the downside, his pad was very small:

…….she felt like Alice in Wonderland when she first went back to Verne’s place . . . a SHED at the the end of his manager’s garden. “It was a little off-putting because everything was so small,” says Genevieve.

“There was a miniature futon and a miniature refrigerator and bed. The light switches were all down at the level of my knee and the toilet was no bigger than a child’s potty.”

Conjures up downright WEIRD images......

The News of the World also reports that Troyer’s drink problem turned him into Doctor Evil and spelled the end for the fairytale marriage (see what I did there?):

Gernevieve claims the star would knock back up to a litre of vodka and a 12-pack of Budweiser in a single day. It soon affected their sex life.

“Soon after I met him he almost drank himself to death. I heard he was in hospital and when I got there he was lying in bed covered in vomit and diarrhoea,” says Genevieve.

Not ideal. The Lollipop Guild were pissed. He’s ruining it for all aspiring little people who want some Playboy strange.