rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

It has been confirmed that rivercityvibe favorite Lindsay Lohan is once more back on the market for man-love. Though some haters say she never left, Lindsay herself confirmed some time ago that her relationship with girlfriend Samantha Ronson (a bit mannish….?) was the real thing. Well they’ve split up folks, and I have another excuse to run pictures of Lohan (who I love – eros not agape):

Happy with that......

Good.

I like to think I have exorcised yesterday’s science fiction vibe. But I am not sure……..

We like Lindsay, around here. We like that she is hot. And we like that she is naughty. Not so keen on her being a lesbian, but hey! We can see the upside to that, too!

Not sure what is going on lips-wise. But I'm fine with it.

The furor all over the weekend about a warrant for her arrest, turned out to be the flawless bureaucracy of California in action, once more. Jeez, those people are unbelievable. My buddies at TMZ tell us:

The warrant issued for Lindsay Lohan‘s arrest was just recalled.

Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, made quick work of it in a hearing that lasted minutes. S.C.H. showed proof of compliance and that was that. Lindsay didn’t show.

Lohan will enroll in a new alcohol education program — apparently she had “personality conflicts” with her old one — and will be back in court to prove it on April 3.

So much for those bogus stories that the hearing was about a driver’s license…

So there you have it. What is technically known as a storm-in-a teacup.

Yawn.

Glamor Magazine is running an American Icons series in which B-Listers get to dress as somebody’s idea of  noteworthy individuals and have their picture taken.  I can’t pretend I understand the thought processes of the creative team. They’ve got Emma Stone as the (fictional) Carrie Bradshaw, Hayden Panettiere as Amelia Earhart, Emma Roberts as Audrey Hepburn, and bizarrely, Alicia Keyes as Michelle Obama.

Our own, best beloved, Lindsay Lohan is dressed as Madonna. The early eighties version, I am relieved to announce:

Absent: disfiguring mole. Present: larger rack.

Hmmmmm.

I am not sure about this one……

It’s monkeying with my mind.

Bedside List girls all, each has married in 2009 and it’s only the 3rd of March. My favorites are falling to the institution of marriage like a Hun counterattack before my great grandfather’s Lewis Gun.

Where will it end? Not Lohan? God NO!*

Let’s remember the good times:

Arrivederci, my angel

Selamat Jalan, my sweet

Auf Wiedersehn, my darling

[*an unlikely contingency, I’ll admit.]

Lindsay is our favorite. I think we have established that. In celebration, here are some pictures recently taken by celebrity photographer, Hedi Slimane:

Hedi Slimane is French. By coincidence, the wonders of modern technology have allowed me to post this from the comfort of a first class cabin on the TGV, headed for Bordeaux.

How the fuck do you like THEM apples?

The ridiculous weather conditions, which saw thick ice forming on my boat and forced me to break out clothes that I usually reserve for skiing vacations, are past. I have spoken to one of my assets at NOAA and they have confirmed that the summer starts here. We’re easing it in with a few days in the low seventies. Back to shorts, y’all (though I’ll kind of miss my Inuit Fishing Cap).

I will swim in the Ocean before February is out.

One side effect of the weather is to bring humidity levels to record lows at Bones HQ. These old Florida houses are designed to stay cool – not an ideal attribute when it’s BALTIC outside. Worried about my dog’s skin, I blew fifty bucks on a humidifier.

It was crap. It raised the humidity not at all. If any eggheads are reading this and can explain to me why the Vick’s Ultrasonic Humidifier does not work, I’d be grateful.

God. That was so boring I feel honor-bound to give you a picture of Lindsay on the beach:

It's nice and warm again.

I am occasionally asked (mainly by the women in my life) why rivercityvibe loves Lindsay Lohan so much. I hate answering this ridiculous question (it gives me a pain), so have devised a game to lessen the boredom for me. I drew my inspiration from Boggle. In this case, I replace letters with words and you must unscramble them to get the answer. Seriously, it’s like “Word Boggle”, for idiots.

If you would like to play, just make three pairs from these six words:

HAIR. SLIM. RACK. WAIST. LONG. ENORMOUS

(Clue: “Long rack”, “enormous waist” and “slim hair” is not the right answer).

New Year's Eve 2008 - Miami Beach, FL.

Stay tuned for MUCH more of this. Welcome to 2009.

Seriously, have a good one. And word to your mother.

rivercityvibe favorite

There are rumors flying around that accomplished actress and rivercityvibe favorite Lindsay Lohan may have split up with her allegedly female consort, Ronson.

Waste of a rack.

Well, Lindsay has taken pains to point out that this is not true by commenting on something called myspace (it’s like Facebook, but for the poor). She says,

oy vey! rumors..
just to clear this up.. because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.
samantha ronson and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT breaking up

take care
xxLL

Add Yiddish to her many talents. This girl is awesome.

It’s about time we got back to business with accomplished actress and rivercityvibe favorite LiLo:

And she can act. Not bad