rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

This is The Hills star Heidi Montag on ‘Honeymoon’ with some guy alleged to have married her this week. Check US Weekly if you’re interested in that kind of thing.

Thoughts on the national derivation of her last name?

That’s right. Another German. Montag means Monday, in their language.

I am going to have to impose a rivercityvibe ban on German last names. It’s out of control.

I was sent this by a buddy who  is clearly implying that, after the events of this week, I will henceforth be turning up at parties with the Frank “the Tank” Ricard’s old “Bed, Bath and Beyond” routine, from that awesome movie, Old School.  This youtube piece is actually an awesome song and contains many welcome Entourage references. How good is that?

The artist is Kidd Russell. I Like his vibe.

The former West German Capital Bonn was the scene of an unpleasant incident, last week. Unpleasant, but also peculiar and amusing. A fine example of the ‘humor’ the Germans call schadenfreude.

A man was found dead, apparently, in a pornography video booth at a Bonn Beate Uhse sex shop, over the weekend. The Cologne Daily Express reports:

Apparently “plump boobs and hot thighs” were too much for the 54-year-old pornography customer’s heart, who died while watching porn in one of the video-booths at the sex-shop on Bischofsplatz……

Bring your own Kleenex

Apparently, he was found slumped in a booth with his pants round his ankles.

I am sure you are thinking the same as me. What the hell was he doing there? How do these places exist in the post-internet society? How did they survive through video, DVD and superfast broadband? Can you imagine this poor guy’s thought process that led him from waking up in the morning with a bit of a stiffy, to dying in a recently vacated so-called self-abuse booth in a side street across town?

The answer has something to do with the German psyche, I know it. Something deep down and dirty and linked to them having inspection-shelves in their toilets……..

There are rumors flying around that accomplished actress and rivercityvibe favorite Lindsay Lohan may have split up with her allegedly female consort, Ronson.

Waste of a rack.

Well, Lindsay has taken pains to point out that this is not true by commenting on something called myspace (it’s like Facebook, but for the poor). She says,

oy vey! rumors..
just to clear this up.. because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.
samantha ronson and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT breaking up

take care
xxLL

Add Yiddish to her many talents. This girl is awesome.

Last night, Joe Bones became a father. He has undertaken to devote his entire life toward proving that a rock and roll lifestyle is compatible with responsible fatherhood.

William the Bear

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
  They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
  And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
  By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
  And half at one another's throats.

Back to racks and beer etc. in a couple of days…….

This guy, from some weird Yankee college, performs a feat of athleticism we can all respect. Check out the four beer simultaneous chug:

Is it me or does this athlete bear an uncanny resemblance to Senator Blutarsky?