rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I do not know how I have missed this. I can only assume that the excitement of Sarah Palin’s visit caused me to overlook it in the reports submitted by my  covert  assets around the globe. It appears, thanks mainly to those pesky mortgage-backed securities everyone has been botting on about, that the nation of Iceland is about to go bankrupt.

Not to be confused with Greenland....

That’s right. We are not talking about “a venerable Wall Street institution”, or a “leading investment bank” here, we are a talking about a first-world nation going tits-up as a result of it’s investment strategy. And here’s the poser – where could a possible government bail-out come from, if the government itself is bankrupt?

Riddle me that one, Batman.

Some of the people of Iceland

It appears that the assets of the Icelandic banking system, which they stand to lose in toto, are nine times Gross Domestic Product. Understandably, the cool-named Prime Minister of Iceland, Geir H. Haarde, is not having a good week. Addressing the people of Iceland, he sounded slightly more miserable than Winston Churchill in the darkest days of 1940:

If there was ever a time when the Icelandic nation needed to stand together and show fortitude in the face of adversity, then this is the moment. I urge you all to guard that which is most important in the life of everyone of us, protect those values which will survive the storm now beginning. I urge families to discuss together and not to allow anxiety to get the upper hand even tough the outlook is grim for many. We need to explain to our children that the world is not on the edge of a precipice and we all need to find an inner courage to look to the future.

Let me remind you, he is talking about the same financial crisis as the one we are facing.

On a more positive note, Iceland does boast insanely hot women many of whom are already morally bankrupt. Check this out:

Icelandic Girls Get Busy In Reykjavik – The best bloopers are a click away

Result!

Much the same as in Johnny Drama’s 90210 condo, Joe Bones’ 32210 home sports a copy of Variety on the coffee table. I find it useful for keeping up with the activities of the various movers and shakers out west and I trust their movie reviews which have an ‘insider’ feel to them.

Variety’s review of Oliver Stone’s “W.” is out today and although not what you would call glowing, it whets the appetite for what is, clearly, going to be a HILARIOUS treatment of our President’s eight-years at the helm.

Remember, this is an Oliver Stone movie. Can we say Platoon? Natural Born Killers? Born of the Fourth of July? The fucking Doors?!   It cannot be dismissed the way we routinely dismiss the lard-ass Moore‘s lame propaganda efforts. Variety says:

Opening with a post-9/11 cabinet meeting in the Oval Office in which the phrase “axis of evil” was concocted, then jumping back in time to begin a procession of key events in the life of a privileged party boy with something to prove, Stone and his “Wall Street” scenarist Stanley Weiser position the film, above all, as a father-son story. Long uncertain what his role in life is meant to be, the young George W. is severely chastised by his patrician father for his wayward behavior — “What do you think you are, a Kennedy?,” blares George Sr. (James Cromwell) after one of his son’s drunken escapades — but is nonetheless always let off the hook and given another chance by his father…..

In case you can’t tell, I am really looking forward to this. Apparently Richard Dreyfuss plays Dick Cheney to a ‘T’. Her’s the trailer:

Go and see it. It is out October 17, 2008. If you are going to see it at AMC Orange Park, please take the usual precautions.

Sarah Palin’s visit to Jacksonville has been declared a success, with Jacksonville Landing crammed to capacity by zitty little young republicans in bow-ties and grungy unhygienic democrats chanting and hoisting placards. The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office estimate the crowd to be around 10,000. This turnout is all the more remarkable when one compares it to ol’ Maverick’s showing when he came to Jacksonville.

Seems he’s missing a certain something when it comes to drawing the crowds. My money would be on “a rack”. Here’s how many Jacksonvillians showed up to see the hero of Truc Bach Lake recently:

Hello...o...o

Our favorite Vice Presidential Cougar Candidate totally owns his ass. Only, Joe Biden, the Red Skelton of presidential campaign politics, is stopping Mav from becoming the laughing stock of the 2008 campaign.

Pwned!!

Various reports have reached me that rivercityvibe favorite, and accomplished actress, Lindsay Lohan is considering children. When I first heard this news I was, to put it mildly, panicked. Had she thought through the potential physical consequences of birthing and nursing a child? Do her fans get a say in this at all?

(*Actually, my first thought, was to fall back on my training and issue the emergency cry of “STILL!” in which all concerned must freeze in place and make no moves until the danger is cleared and the crisis passed. Some readers will be familiar with this. 99.77% of you won’t).

Then I remembered that Lindsay is a Lesbian these days (Phew!) and is considering following in  the footsteps of her Hollywood brethren and merely purchasing a child from impoverished third world parents. Preferably already potty trained.

Relax. They are safe.

So that’s all right then. Crisis passed.

Hope remains alive…….

Stand by for a MILF-tastic week, readers. Sarah Palin – Sarah “Good News McGee” Palin – is coming to town…..

Nasty!

She will be appearing at a public event at Jacksonville Landing (Hooters, maybe?) at 7 am, Tuesday. There is some kind of fundraiser later on. The newspapers are reporting that Governor Palin will be wearing a business-like trouser suit over a thong. Or maybe I dreamed that.

Here she is again, with her dad:

To Native American voters, I say "how"

I’ll be there. Disguised as a Republican.

Billy Smart & Co have just voted on, and, this time, deigned to pass the bill that effectively bails out rich Wall Street speculators with our money. I never let you face these times alone, so am posting the following for two reasons:

1.     You need a morale-boost.

2.      It is ad for insurance – finance – therefore we’re remaining on-topic.

I have also had some emails accusing me of being (ahem…)   ‘un-masculine’, citing the last  two posts……..

Buy some insurance. Seriously. Keep that marketing budget solvent……..

The puritan spirit we imported from the Old World all those years ago is alive and well. Thank God.

Joining Janet Jackson’s celebrated ‘nip-slip’ (I think you’ll find that’s the correct paparazzi term…) which had more of a tangible effect on Main Street that the total failure of our capital markets, we have a new ‘outrage’, courtesy of those Great Americans at the Parents’ Television Council. Their full ire is directed toward CBS’ flagship reality show Survivor: Gabon.

Clearly a Gorilla, not a Gabon.......

Apparently  a little penis slipped out of a pair of shorts during a race to fulfill some task crucial to the survival of the competitors. If you recorded it, have HD, can pause at the right time, and like looking at willies, then get real close to the screen and advance slowly frame-by-frame. You can CLEARLY see a flesh-colored something which the experts at the PTC identify as a penis. Let’s take their word for it. Thank Jesus our children were saved from this.

Footage from my buddies at TMZ HERE.

When asked, CBS crushingly commented that the penis of the individual concerned was “undetectable in real life time”.

Ouch.

The last Bond post resulted in an email in-box full of requests from the ladies for this picture:

We have the same personal trainer.......

I figure this will earn me some points for the new pic of Lohan’s rack I have been sitting on.

Very good news. The sequel to the OUTSTANDING James Bond movie Casino Royale is due for release in early November….

Hang on……. What’s this bullshit?

They’re releasing Quantum of Solace in Central America, before they release it here? Oman gets to see it before the US? The fucking RUSSIANS, who for forty years were Bond’s principal ADVERSARIES, get to see it a FULL WEEK  before we do?

Nice move, United Artists. You’ll be hearing from me…..

In the meantime, here is the latest trailer:

At this stage it would not surprise me if Mrs. Broccoli were to personally airdrop an advance copy into the Federally Administered Tribal Areas addressed to Mr. O. B. Laden.

[By the way, if, like me, you are planning to see this movie at the AMC Orange Park, may I suggest you go along armed like Bond? It is like Beirut in ’84 there, these days…..]

Fox News is an utter disgrace. I am no fan of the opposition, either. CNN makes me want to puke (The Most News in the Morning? What sort of lame, nonsensical, and plain stupid slogan is that?).

Neither cover themselves in glory. Both are dumbed-down shadows of  journalist-led news organizations and both have political biases which embarrass our democracy. The ONLY thing I respect about Fox News is that, unlike CNN, it is brave enough to make no attempt WHATSOEVER to hide its biases behind a veneer of serious journalism. The following makes my point:

On to more important matters –  I have to contend that Kiran Chetry is WAY hotter than Gretchen Carlson.

If you like naughty little imps.

(which I think you do…….)