rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Apparently, yesterday was “a nine” according to WOKV. Today is expected to be “a ten” when the fog burns off.

What does that mean?

It means 86 degrees and sunny, that’s what that means. In other words, the kind of fall day that makes you glad to be Floridian.

Returning to the Island. 7.30 am

Aha. If I may quote George Harrison (and I think I can), here comes the sun……

Just how diligent can we expect this guy to be…..?

I’m Joe Bones, and I approve this message.

There’s libertarianism, and there’s this.

An elderly couple just down the road in Sanford declared themselves independent sovereign states at some point during the 1990’s, announcing that they were deliberately putting themselves outside of U.S. government jurisdiction. Much like Jimmy Buffet’s extra eight ounces of Cherry Coke for 25 cents, they don’t want it. They don’t want that much organization in their life.

Queen-President Donna of Brinkleland

Unfortunately, as the Orlando Sentinel reports, personal-secession from the Union is not an inalienable right. You’ve got to pay your taxes, and you’ve got to have a driving license if you want to drive on the road.

Donna and Joel Brinkle disagree and boy-oh-boy, are they suffering for their comedy antics:

… Joel Brinkle keeps getting arrested for driving without a license. So far, it has happened three times. He doesn’t need a license, he said, because, just like his wife, he has proclaimed himself a sovereign nation.

Joel’s served 7 months in jail (he’s 76). They’ve lost their home and five acres and they are being sued by the state for harassing state officials.

This did not, of course, stop them from buying a $700,000 new home with a home-made money order. Oh no. When asked to explain, Mrs. Brinkle explained that,

[The] money order was perfectly valid. As head of her own sovereign country, she has the power to create her own monetary system……

There’s something undeniably great about the Brinkles. I know you agree.

Apparently, Ron Paul has written them a letter of support.

I have to say, Series 5 is very good. After a lackluster Series 4, Entourage has recaptured some of its old magic. Five episodes in, only one was a dud (the Joshua Tree road trip. Okay. Not great.)

In the last episode (now available on HBO On Demand) Turtle became Drama’s assistant for the day, fulfilling his crazy requests (who knew that Raisin Bran raisins were sugar coated? I checked this morning. Drama’s right). Dom is back – in trouble again – but something’s changed, and Ari is betting Vince’s career on a round of golf.

Johnny Drama has the privilege of speaking the final line of the episode. Probably the best line of the series so far. Three words.

Apparrently, a fellow called Flynt is making a spoof movie about Sarah Palin.

It’s called Nailin’ Paylin and is likely to be NSFW.

Here are some stills:

Apparently the movie is due for release prior to the election.

God Bless America

My buddies at TMZ report:

The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

Kyuk, kyuk…..

insert weapon joke HERE

I’ve saved the best information until last…….

I pledge allegiance.....

…….according to WIKIPEDIA:

The movie will also feature Jada Fire as a spoof Condoleezza Rice and Nina Hartley as Hillary Clinton.

I am WEEPING with laughter.

Remember before the bottom fell-out of the global economy we were all issued a can of guv’ment cheese in the form of a $600 rebate? The idea was that we would spend it immediately and give the US economy the shot in the arm it needed to avoid, ahem, total collapse.

Well it seemed like a good idea at the time

If you have yet to spend it then, A. It’s your fault we are in this mess; and, B. Congratulations! You are now in a position to take advice from distinguished investment analyst and entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber, of  gloomboomdoom.com.

Dr. Marc Faber outside his home in..... Thailand, of course.

Dr. Faber, who has written for such respected business publications as Fortune and Forbes, is an economist with ideas that could not be called mainstream. Here is his advice on your rebate:

“The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US.

I’ve been doing my part…..”

There you have it. He has a PhD, so you can trust him.

Get to work.

Many of us in the rivercityvibe community have little love for Democratic attack dog James Carville.

But the redneck in all of us will appreciate this:

Aware, as always, that we have readers all over the world (including Tuvalu) and that they might have problems with Carville’s Cajun accent, I translate here:

“Absent some unforeseen circumstance, he [McCain] can call the dogs in, wet the fire and leave the house. The hunt’s over.”

[NOTE: Carville’s alma mater is Louisiana State University (LSU). What’s special about LSU?

Nothing at all.

Except for they lost to the Gators, Saturday.

If you would like to read about it, there’s a nice article in yesterday’s Washington Post, entitled, Gators Easily Take out Tigers

Geaux Gators!]

You will recall my despondency at the latest twists and turns in the Britney Spears trainwreck. I bemoaned the fact that she used to be UNBELIEVEABLY hot, but lately, I wouldn’t have touched her with yours…..

Well, there have been some developments. Unless I receive proof within the next 24 hrs that the following video was possible only through alien abduction and changeling substitution, I am putting Britney back on the Bedside List.

Near the bottom, to play it safe.

Nice one, Britney. Now stay away from Starbucks and let’s keep this going.

You will no doubt be aware that October 26 is World Zombie Day. No? Well that makes all of us. Apparently, it is on this day that “fans of Zombie culture” get together and roam around the place dressed as zombies for charity. Needless to say some of these well-intentioned weirdos live in Jacksonville and have a web presence here.

"This is my Pirate Day costume, too."

I was most struck by the zombie etiquette page , one particular clause seems…ahem…limiting:

Please no alcohol. The walks are generally outside and we do not want anyone getting arrested for public intoxication. Alcohol will be served inside licensed establishments during pub crawls or after parties. Please bring multiple forms of ID since zombies may look younger in make-up. No drugs.

That’s right, they’re doing this sober.

If this floats your boat, give it a whirl. If you fit the usual profile of a rivercityvibe reader, please resist the urge to mock. It’s for charity.

*actual lyric from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, amazingly.

Spotted in LA two days ago, rivercityvibe favorite, accomplished actress Lindsay Lohan…….

This madness must end.