rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

It is well known among the cognoscenti that Heidi Klum is a big fan of dressing up. She loves Halloween more than most 6 year olds and always comes up with an outfit that is amazing. This is this year’s:

Hindu groups have protested.

When assessing the relative awesomeness of costumes please benchmark against Joe’s celebrated ‘gay construction worker’ outfit which is still talked about in some circles. Who knew that the addition of a droopy mustache and a rainbow lightning helmet sticker would be so transformational?

At the end of last week I promised to follow-up with you about the Bond Girl, Olga Kurylenko, who featured as the subject of Something for the Weekend # 4. And judging by your emails, she was a very popular subject.

That’s my genius.

It seems, however, that certain parties are not as impressed. The London Telegraph reports:

The Communists of St. Petersburg and Leningrad Region, a hardline splinter group, issued a blood-curdling tirade against Kurylenko, saying that she had betrayed her homeland by appearing with James Bond and deserved the fate of World War II traitors who slept with “enemies of the people.”

In a Stalinist-style open letter, posted on its website yesterday, the Communists described James Bond as an “American spy” who had killed “hundreds of Soviet people and their allies.”

Before we dissect this, let’s remind ourselves just who this is aimed at:

Hi. It's me - from Friday.

There appears to be a disconnect, somewhere. First, unless I am very much mistaken, the Bond films are fictional. Second, Bond is supposed to be British, and third (and this is what perplexes me the most) Russia isn’t communist any more. Is it?

The Telegraph’s  final paragraph puts it in context. Clearly someone in the press office at the Communist Party of St. Petersburg is having a laugh at the expense of the western media:

The group, which claims 500 members, has also condemned Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which features an evil KGB agent played by Cate Blanchett.

This young lady is starring in the new James Bond film. I shall have much more to say about her shortly, so I’ll dispense with the biographical details, for now:

That's a whole quantum of solace, right there......

I need a lie-down.

You could not make this story up – a gift, an absolute gift. Anything that links cops with donuts connects us  to a deep vein of humor running through our society.

In this case, a campus police officer is accused of stealing $300 worth of donuts. When quizzed, he said, “All I wanted to do was achieve the perfect T.J. Hooker ‘look'”.

T.J. Hooker - no stranger to donuts

NBC has the story. It says:

State police say an upstate New York college campus policeman was helping himself to free pastries at a local convenience store.

The Valero Nice N Easy offers free coffee to any police officer in uniform.

Sgt. Steve Brody of the Morrissville State College University stopped daily to buy a newspaper and pick up a free cup of coffee. He also routinely stuffed a pastry into his coat.

Actually, now I think about it, this guy was only campus police. State Police hate these renatacop guys. That said, no doubt university authorities will soon have Sgt. Brody back on duty busting Iraq war veteran freshman for the crime of drinking beer at age 20.

MojoHD is quickly turning into my favorite basic cable channel. It cannot really compete with the high budget output of HBO or Sho (Entourage and Californication spring to mind] but shows like Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey (made-up name) have made regular watchers of Joe and his buddies. Who doesn’t want to watch a guy visit the fleshpots of the world in order to test the ways in which the locals get shitfaced?

[My regular thing has just pointed out that the answer to that question is “women”. Thanks for the input]

Anyway, they’ve gone one better. Now the guy is traipsing around the world trying to get laid.

Awesome premise. Awesome show.

This time, the protagonist’s made-up name is Eric Van Wyck (trying to ‘dip his ‘Van Wyck’, no doubt. Ha.)

This is him in action:

If you visit the MojoHD website there is a forum where viewers can leave their own observations. As with most fora (or forums in internet-ese) this one is populated with some seriously strange rangers who are WAY too into this. I tell you this to warn you. Here is a cautionary example:

that’s was out of control!
what exactly was tacking place under that blanket (Mexico tour)
and what did they extract from her and put on a paper plate that was meant for a slice of pizza
first i was disgusted, and then, in a matter of seconds, I was actually turned on, SHA-WING!!!!!
so are you officially “married” now?
Eric Vanwhatchyaname YOU’RE LIVIN’ THE DREAM

…. BEAU-TI-FUL…. YOUR BEAU-TI-FUL….

Now this is more like it. The best bit is at the end, so keep watching. Awesome.

Cindy McCain, the other hot (-ish) republican cougar in the Presidential campaign, brunched at the Fox in Avondale, yesterday.  She was joined by Rudi Giuliani, who I have always thought, underneath it all, would be a good guy to go for a cold one with.

Maybe in Monty’s, a few doors down. Drinking starts there about brunchtime.

Not Mrs. McCain

According to Channel 4, Mrs. McCain had this to say about her husband’s chances in Florida:

“I just believe in the good sense of the American people,” ……. “I believe we’re going to win Florida because I believe people, when it comes right down to it, they don’t want higher taxes.”

These re-pubs keep going on about higher taxes. How important is that compared with the fact that opponent Barack Obama has NEVER OWNED A DOG?

It’s true. Look it up. It has sent people close to Joe into agonies of political self-doubt.

[I like the Fox for breakfast. It is probably the best place within two miles of Bones HQ. But I have two reservations: 1. They always add, unsolicited, bits of fruit on the side of your plate, and 2. I think one of the waitresses is an emo. More on this later.]

Coincidentally, Zip Code 90210 has the same trash day as Zip Code 32210. Here are some pictures of lovely Tracy Bingham putting out the trash, this morning, in West Beverly Hills:

Not dissimilar to the scenario at Bone's hideout, this morning.

Good skills

My main takeaway from this is that this young lady has three large trash cans of different colors (one not shown). What’s all that about? I mean, how many people live in her house?

The airshow was awesome and some pics will be up soon. While I am in the mood, you need to know that if I was the kind of person who had earned billions of dollars from a website, I’d be the kind of person to spend it on a “light attack jet.”

Because, apparently, these kinds of weapons are available to billionaire businessmen like the Google Geeks, Sergey Brin and Larry Page. Go Second Amendment!

No less a news source than the New York Times reports that Google has added to its fleet of aircraft with one of these bad boys:

Other owners include, evidently, the Luftwaffe.

If I was Microsoft, I’d be seriously considering investing some of those Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funds in a couple of THESE.

I wonder if this acquisition has helped advance the Google Geek’s ongoing quest to finally, at long last, get laid………..

The lovely Veronika Zemanova

Hot dang-diggety.

The usual source gives us the following fascinating facts:

Her original stage name was Eva, but due to a production error her real name was accidentally published, so at that point she dropped the pseudonym. Zemanová has appeared in a number of united States and United Kingdom pictorial publications……

A low-budget British independent film, Zemanovaload, about a man obsessed with the model, was released in 2005. It starred the Irish comedian Ed Byrne.

I am not going to lie to you. I approve of this young lady.

Enjoy. I’ll be at the airshow if you need me.