rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I’m kidding. It is going to be unbelieveably, crazily, brilliant. I have never been more sure of anything. I am talking about The Expendables, the new Sylvester Stallone high-action movie which co-stars Jason Statham, Jet Li, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Bruce Willis.

Did you get all that? All it is missing is Michael Caine. I can actually do without a smoking babe in a movie like this, but “Sly” has that covered. Welcome to rivercityvibe, Giselle Itié:

This was not supposed to be a babe post. She just snuck in, the naughty minx. It happens to me all the time. Anyway, back to talking about the the war film (which I love to do). A plot synopsis goes like this:

…an explosive action thriller about a group of hard-nosed mercenaries who are double-crossed during a treacherous mission. Approached by the shadowy Church to overthrow tyrannical South American dictator General Gaza (David Zayas) and restore… order to the troubled island country of Vilena, stoic soldier of fortune Barney Ross (Stallone) rounds up an unstoppable team that includes former SAS soldier and blade specialist Lee Christmas (Jason Statham); martial arts expert Yin (Jet Li); trigger-happy Hale Caesar (Terry Crews); cerebral demolitions expert Toll Road (Randy Couture); and haunted sniper Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), a combat veteran who never misses his mark.

The words “blade specialist” and “haunted sniper” have a special resonance for lovers of war films. They send a dog-whistle message and the message is “fucking awesome”. Here’s the trailer:

I read more of the plot summary. Apparently there is a rogue CIA operator, as well.

Jackpot!

[One small concern. they seem to be wearing berets at one point in the trailer. Please let them them be shaped properly. Or they look shit. Bad berets nearly ruined The Wild Geese for me.]

I have talked before about my favorite movies. Y’all know of my deep love for the comedy classic Weird Science; of my abiding passion for the second Star Wars film (Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back); and I have mentioned before my admiration for Brit Gangster movies – including last year’s RocknRolla. I don’t think, however, I have mentioned that probably my favorite war film of all time (it competes with The Wild Geese) is Zulu, in which Michael Caine gives a career-defining performance as the officer in charge of the defense of Rourke’s Drift.

Well I have now.

So when I see a trailer like this one for Harry Brown – gritty Brit Gangster film starring Michael Caine, I get very, very excited:

All it needs is Kelly LeBrock’s rack and it would be my perfect movie. It is out on DVD in the New Year. I have pre-ordered it.

Starring Richard Harris, Richard Burton, Roger Moore and Hardy Kruger, The Wild Geese (1978) is one of the greatest war films of all time. That said, it is nearly RUINED by berets that would shame a Week 1 Recruit (pain alleviated by the wonderful Joan Armatrading):