rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

You’ll remember a couple of weeks ago I introduced you to a young lady by the name of Biel. I saw potential in her, and accordingly awarded her the coveted rivercityvibe Something for the Weekend spot.

[Incidentally, a message for Beverly D’Angelo: PLEASE stop emailing me. You will never make Something for the Weekend. Even in your European Vacation heyday, you’d have struggled. Now you’re just too old. Leave me alone]

Anyway, Biel has been busy filming a movie called Powder Blue. From the name, it sounds CRAP. The kind of movie which tries to make you think. One with sex scenes that are vital to the plot and lots of weeping. Probably starring Sean Penn.

Despite this, the movie  has been eagerly anticipated by Bones and his cronies for one reason and one reason only: Biel plays a stripper. Woooooohoooo!

Here’s the trailer:

Hot dang diggety. Bring it awn!

I am sure you’re  shocked at Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D) arrest by the FBI on federal corruption charges.

Or, at least, I am sure you would be if he were not the latest in a long line of governors of the Prairie State to face federal prison. His immediate predeccessor George Ryan is in the federal pen for corruption as I write. It’s unbelieveable. Al Capone deserves a posthumous pardon on the grounds that he was an upright and honest citzen of Chicago relative to these hoodlums.

Corrupt. Allegedly.

It’s hard not to feel sorry for Rodders. What sort of role-models had he to look up to? Yahoo have a story which details the example he had set for him:

Otto Kerner, a Democrat who was governor from 1961 to 1968, served less than a year of a three-year sentence after his 1973 conviction on bribery, tax evasion and other counts. He was convicted of arranging favorable horse racing dates as governor in return for getting horse racing association stock at reduced prices.

Dan Walker, a Democrat who was governor from 1973 to 1977, served 1 1/2 years of a seven-year sentence after pleading guilty in 1987 to bank fraud, misapplication of funds and perjury. The charges were not related to his service as governor.

George Ryan, a Republican who was governor from 1999 to 2003, was convicted of corruption in 2006 for steering state contracts and leases to political insiders and helping cover up bribes paid in return for truck drivers licenses while he was secretary of state and then governor. He is serving a 6 1/2-year prison term.

In addition, William Stratton, Illinois governor from 1953-1961, was later indicted but was acquitted on charges of income tax evasion.

Also, blagojevich means ‘donkey rustler’ in  Serbo-Croat. I bet nobody checked this simple pointer when the governor was sworn in, the poor trusting fools……..

You know how sometimes I throw womankind (and the friends of Dorothy) a bone by publishing a picture of a guy without a shirt so my regular thing will allow me to keep publishing pics of Montag, Lohan and the rest?

You do?

Well this is one of those times.

It’s that one guy, from Lost. Bizarrely cavorting in the other ocean in a pair of (very 80’s) 501s……

chase me.......

This is The Hills star Heidi Montag on ‘Honeymoon’ with some guy alleged to have married her this week. Check US Weekly if you’re interested in that kind of thing.

Thoughts on the national derivation of her last name?

That’s right. Another German. Montag means Monday, in their language.

I am going to have to impose a rivercityvibe ban on German last names. It’s out of control.

I was sent this by a buddy who  is clearly implying that, after the events of this week, I will henceforth be turning up at parties with the Frank “the Tank” Ricard’s old “Bed, Bath and Beyond” routine, from that awesome movie, Old School.  This youtube piece is actually an awesome song and contains many welcome Entourage references. How good is that?

The artist is Kidd Russell. I Like his vibe.

The former West German Capital Bonn was the scene of an unpleasant incident, last week. Unpleasant, but also peculiar and amusing. A fine example of the ‘humor’ the Germans call schadenfreude.

A man was found dead, apparently, in a pornography video booth at a Bonn Beate Uhse sex shop, over the weekend. The Cologne Daily Express reports:

Apparently “plump boobs and hot thighs” were too much for the 54-year-old pornography customer’s heart, who died while watching porn in one of the video-booths at the sex-shop on Bischofsplatz……

Bring your own Kleenex

Apparently, he was found slumped in a booth with his pants round his ankles.

I am sure you are thinking the same as me. What the hell was he doing there? How do these places exist in the post-internet society? How did they survive through video, DVD and superfast broadband? Can you imagine this poor guy’s thought process that led him from waking up in the morning with a bit of a stiffy, to dying in a recently vacated so-called self-abuse booth in a side street across town?

The answer has something to do with the German psyche, I know it. Something deep down and dirty and linked to them having inspection-shelves in their toilets……..

There are rumors flying around that accomplished actress and rivercityvibe favorite Lindsay Lohan may have split up with her allegedly female consort, Ronson.

Waste of a rack.

Well, Lindsay has taken pains to point out that this is not true by commenting on something called myspace (it’s like Facebook, but for the poor). She says,

oy vey! rumors..
just to clear this up.. because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.
samantha ronson and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT breaking up

take care
xxLL

Add Yiddish to her many talents. This girl is awesome.

Last night, Joe Bones became a father. He has undertaken to devote his entire life toward proving that a rock and roll lifestyle is compatible with responsible fatherhood.

William the Bear

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
  They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
  And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
  By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
  And half at one another's throats.

Back to racks and beer etc. in a couple of days…….

This guy, from some weird Yankee college, performs a feat of athleticism we can all respect. Check out the four beer simultaneous chug:

Is it me or does this athlete bear an uncanny resemblance to Senator Blutarsky?

Wow. You guys really do not respect the holiday. So Something for the Weekend is 24 hrs late. Please deal with it and stop emailing, I beg of you.

Here is the lovely and kind, Holly Weber:

Congratulations, Holly!

The usual source says:

Weber’s undergraduate education was funded by her GoGo Dancing at popular venues in Hollywood and Las Vegas. During this period she had braces applied to straighten her teeth and she began pursuing a degree in Orthodontics. Upon removal of the devices, her modeling career began and quickly flourished as she graced the covers and pages of over 25 different calendars, was featured in magazines such as Glamour, Muscle and Fitness and FHM.

Who knew?