rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Smokin’, smokin’ hot Olivia Munn. She could throw the dog a bone.

Literally.

This picture is, of course, from her recent Playboy shoot. Interesting-ish fact about Munn:

Munn was predominantly raised in the Shinjuku district of Tokyo, Japan,[4] where the military assigned her stepfather. During this time, she had appeared in a number of local theater productions, and later became a model within the Japanese fashion industry…

But her Asian looks are from her Chinese mother. Not many people realize that.

(How do I feel about Munn? Well, I’d walk 300 miles over burning coals just to “David Carradine” myself in her shadow. Seriously. Big fan).

It turns out that a super-hot model teacher has appeared in Playboy, and been fired for it. Math, teacher? No. English teacher? No. History Teacher? No? Physics teacher? No. I could go on all day, but I’ll just tell you. This teacher taught cheerleading.

Well, they didn’t make them like that when I was at High School (though I never went in for cheerleading. Bridge Club and Junior Christian Fellowship were more my bag*). The teacher is Carlie Christine formerly of Casa Robles High School in Orangevale, California. CBS 13 reports:

“And I was in shock that I knew the girls had seen it and knew about it,” a parent told CBS13. A lot of parents and faculty are talking and looking.

“The whole football team has seen it,” says one parent.

No shit, Sherlock. What amazes me, in this day and age, is that appearing nude in Playboy is considered a bad thing. More of that weird puritan double-standard we have here. Here’s another picture, for luck:

*Obviously, I’m kidding. I didn’t belong to any clubs at school. The Awesome Club and the Fucking Legend Club? They belonged TO ME!

The news that Lisa Rinna, aged regular on rivercityvibe, has recently appeared in Playboy was something of a relief. We know that Hef’s guys aren’t going to be shy of the airbrush and are going to do their best to ensure that a good basic starting point (she’s smoking, for her age) will be leveraged to produce something wholly respectable:

To quote Thomas Sullivan Magnum, “I know what you’re thinking.”  You’re thinking that I am two days late and all I can come up with is a fully clothed MILF.

That’s because I am linking to the other pics. The good ones. NSFW. Enjoy.

Now is a good time to buy a house, we are told. Prices are plummeting, so if you are a first time buyer and do not need to sell a current house to buy a new one, you should act. Consider Aaron Spelling’s house in Los Angeles, for example. See if you can swing it with Wells Fargo. It’s on the market for 150 million dollars.

I wrote that in a Doctor Evil voice.

Bigger than the White House

Coming up with the readies might not be your only challenge, though. Candy Spelling apparently won’t sell this to just anyone. The Independent claims,

And, of course, to handle the sale of this 56,500sq ft chateau-style home, you wouldn’t want just any old estate agent. Thus it was that Mrs Spelling let her dog Madison help her choose. She had her security bring the dog into the room every time she met one of the candidates and watched his reaction. If Madison didn’t like them, out they went.

It’s LA. What do you expect? I should mention that this house is in Holmby Hills. If you bought it, the Playboy Mansion would be only a short walk away.

I wonder if that’s actually a good thing?

blah…blah… her poor son…blah…blah…so vulnerable….blah…blah…like Greek tragedy….blah…blah…candle in the wind……blah…blah…let down by those she loved…blah…blah… etc. etc.

This is what the stories about the arrest, Friday, of Howard K. Stern, the former boyfriend of Anna Nicole Smith, read like, to me.

Credit where credit is due. That is not un-hot.

Granted, she was a mess when she died (her reality show was once referred to as a “suicide note in weekly installments”), but we should remember that she was one of the most popular Playboy Playmates of all time. With the arrest of this Stern character, it seems justice might be about to be done. Stern is charged with enabling (read, “strongly encouraging) the drug abuse that led to her death.

The full story is in that shining beacon of first-amendment abuse, the People.

[ I’m going to level with you. Notwithstanding the undoubted tragic elements, this whole post was just an excuse to use the picture above. Please disregard any opinion it may have in it. Besides, Stern’s people say he “didn’t do it”]

I was lying in bed this morning, early, drinking tea and watching E!, when I noticed Teri Marie Harrison, a young lady who had hitherto managed to slip below my radar. She’s a former Playboy Playmate and is married to the one guy, from Sevendust.

Here she is (below) presumably modelling Uggs:

Yes, it's SFW. Don't be such a prude.

That was actually the only SFW picture readily available. The usual source tells us more about her:

Her involvement with Playboy began when her best friend encouraged her to send pictures of herself to the magazine. Although she was chosen almost immediately as a Playmate, it was a year before she was assigned a month. She was also the German Playboy Playmate of the Month, for January 2003. According to Teri, her father is German and her mother is Japanese^.

German. As per usual. It’s almost a relief…….

Surprisingly, the marriage of Verne Troyer (known best as Mini Me, from Austin Powers), to 5’6″ Playboy model Genevieve Gallen was not entirely a bed of roses. On the upside, there was a lot of creative sex

She recalls: “I would dress up in my sexiest lingerie every day and try all sorts of role-play games. Sometimes I dressed as a prostitute, other times a cheerleader—and even a schoolgirl.

“I once put on a dark wig, some sexy lingerie and put on a Russian accent so he would think I was a high class call girl.

On the downside, his pad was very small:

…….she felt like Alice in Wonderland when she first went back to Verne’s place . . . a SHED at the the end of his manager’s garden. “It was a little off-putting because everything was so small,” says Genevieve.

“There was a miniature futon and a miniature refrigerator and bed. The light switches were all down at the level of my knee and the toilet was no bigger than a child’s potty.”

Conjures up downright WEIRD images......

The News of the World also reports that Troyer’s drink problem turned him into Doctor Evil and spelled the end for the fairytale marriage (see what I did there?):

Gernevieve claims the star would knock back up to a litre of vodka and a 12-pack of Budweiser in a single day. It soon affected their sex life.

“Soon after I met him he almost drank himself to death. I heard he was in hospital and when I got there he was lying in bed covered in vomit and diarrhoea,” says Genevieve.

Not ideal. The Lollipop Guild were pissed. He’s ruining it for all aspiring little people who want some Playboy strange.

My assets in Hollywood inform me that the internet rumors are correct and Lisa Rinna, the hot-older woman who featured as Johnny Drama’s obsession in an episode of Entourage, is indeed to appear nude in Playboy. It seems people are outraged (everyone is always outraged, about everything) because she is 50* years old and a mother of two.

(that’s sexist as well as ageist, by the way. Haters.)

I am not going to offer an opinion on this development, I am simply going to publish a couple of pics and let the rivercityvibe faithful decide for themselves. Democracy, see?

nice grotto

Pic taken in the Land of Oz, evidently. Lollipop Guild on stand-by.

Apparently, Ms. Rinna was also in a show called “Melrose Place” and another with the even more unlikely name of “Days of our Lives“.

*Actually 45, but that would have RUINED the headline…..

The best thing ever has happened. The Playboy team are in Jacksonville looking to recruit lovely ladies for Hef’s use, in the magazine and in the mansion. They are hoping to find another Laura Croft (made-up name), Jacksonville’s famous playmate and this year’s Miss July.

Hef's the one at the front in red and purple.....

I had an asset at the castings, obviously (I was in Atlanta sorting out the weather, so was not able to attend in person). She reported that the standard was mixed, though skewed toward the hot. She said there were a lot of obvious strippers and some were HAGGARD.

The awesome Randy Lefko, took some brilliant pictures for the local rag, have a look at them and make your own minds up…….