rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

As promised, here’s one for the ladies. Matt McConaughey. The Tom Selleck of the 21st Century.

Which brings me on to one of my absolute favorite topics, Magnum PI.

He's seen something. In the distance.

You may or may not know that Matt McConaughey ( I find ‘Matthew’ a little too formal) has been cast as Thomas Sullivan Magnum (head of security at Robin Masters’ Hawaii estate, Private Investigator and former Navy SEAL) in the upcoming Big Screen version of what, to the mind of Joe Bones, is the best TV drama ever…..

(You see what I did there? How I tricked you? you thought this was a post for the ladies, and now we are talking about SEALS and private investigators. It’s only a matter of time before we mention bikinis and beer….)

Anyway, I wasn’t going to talk about my Magnum PI obsession for a few months. Saving it for later. But in the River City, where we are surrounded by retired and active Navy personnel with operational experience (just like Magnum, T.C., and Rick) I know there are others among you who own all eight series on DVD  who’d love a post like this.

So that’s the original version, but the movie is in production. I never thought much about McConaughey’s acting talent until I saw him in Tropic Thunder (in which, had Tom Cruise not given the comedy performance of a lifetime, he would have stolen the show). But the guys doing the casting for the Magnum PI movie know their shit. They have cast William H Macy as Jonathan Quayle Higgins and Tyrese Gibson as Theodore “TC” Calvin. Steve Zahn as Rick. It will not destroy the franchise. It will enhance it.

“Zeus. Apollo. Patrol!”

For those of us whose role in life is to mock, the celeb wars of recent years have been like manna from heaven. You may recall that prior to Paris Hilton’s arrest (for whatever it was) and her subsequent pathetic performance whilst incarcerated (If I was her publicist I would have arranged a pre-prison conduct-after-capture course with the SEALS), all the attention was on Paris Hilton vs. Lindsay Lohan. Who is the most popular, who is most worthy of our admiration?

It was around this time that some losers in Jacksonville got rather carried away. Who can forget the ill-fated Club Paris at the Landing.

Embarrassing ain’t the word.

Anyway, I have got to say, I have always been squarely for Lindsay. For a start, she is an actress, has been to drama school, taken lessons. For the movies she has made she has been paid millions of dollars. Earnings.

Paris, on the other hand, has a rich dad.

But there are other key reasons, why I much prefer Lyndsay to Paris:

And don’t say this post is sexist. Because its not.