rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Out for a run the other day, I spied the unmistakable image of three uniformed members of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard coming toward me. Naturally I sought hard target cover and sounded my personal locator alarm, knowing that the QRF at Bones HQ would be crashed out. If I was going to have to conduct a fighting withdrawal on the streets of my own home town, I wanted my Ukrainian bodyguards in intimate support. “Bring the ’40“, I whispered into my collar mike….

As the enemy moved toward me it became increasingly obvious that I was mistaken. In fact, the closer they got the more sure I was that they were not Iranian Revolutionary Guard. Neither were they Egyptian Special Police (my second guess). In fact I was slowly coming to the horrifying conclusion that these guys were not third world paramilitaries at all. Could they be Americans?

Then a comforting thought struck me….. “Halloween costumes!”  I extracted myself from my fire position with as much dignity as I could and moved towards the guys in question, smiling.

Fuck me, readers – they only turned out to be members of the US Navy!

Not these fellows, after all.

Great guys they were (anyone who has a broad international experience knows we should go down on our knees to thank serving sailors for what they do for us). They sheepishly explained that the Pentagon, in its Post-Rumsfeldian wisdom, had decreed a new working dress for the Navy and had decided it should be a Disruptive Pattern Material (DPM) colored blue….

You know, in case you wanted to hide behind some waves…….. or in the sky, perhaps.

Here is a picture of the new look US Navy:

Relax. They're on our side

There really is very little difference. I CANNOT wait for them to bring out more colors (you know it will happen – Bones Rule # 1). I have a feeling this is a reaction to the fashion and celebrity culture that we live in (the one I deliberately perpetuate for laughs….) It does not seem very military, I’ll say that.

Perhaps officers of field rank and above could be permitted to wear mauve?