rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

On his bottom. Sorry girls.

Vinny Chase (aka Adrian Grenier*) is a popular sex symbol in the fictional world of Entourage. I checked with my regular thing by showing her these pictures and she confirmed that, in real life, he fails to meet the required standard.

Also, I note his name is Adrian.

What a giveaway……..

As is my habit, I watched an episode of Entourage, On Demand, while I had lunch yesterday at Bones’ hideout. (I had Crawfish Bisque – hey, there’s a recession on….). It was one of those series three episodes, just after Vince has told the studio to kiss his swingers over the remastered Queen’s Boulevard. The boys are planning a trip to Vegas. At this stage, I noticed a bottle of wine on the table with it’s label ostentatiously pointed toward the camera (love that product placement). The label declared in big letters JAX.

For all I know it may be well known.

Some online research by a minion rapidly revealed this wine had nothing whatsoever to do with our great city. Nothing.

If you want it, for the vibe (I have no idea how it drinks), click HERE.

It had me going for a minute, there, though……

My assets in Hollywood inform me that the internet rumors are correct and Lisa Rinna, the hot-older woman who featured as Johnny Drama’s obsession in an episode of Entourage, is indeed to appear nude in Playboy. It seems people are outraged (everyone is always outraged, about everything) because she is 50* years old and a mother of two.

(that’s sexist as well as ageist, by the way. Haters.)

I am not going to offer an opinion on this development, I am simply going to publish a couple of pics and let the rivercityvibe faithful decide for themselves. Democracy, see?

nice grotto

Pic taken in the Land of Oz, evidently. Lollipop Guild on stand-by.

Apparently, Ms. Rinna was also in a show called “Melrose Place” and another with the even more unlikely name of “Days of our Lives“.

*Actually 45, but that would have RUINED the headline…..

* Spoiler Warning * Spoiler Warning * Spoiler Warning * Spoiler Warning*

You know from previous posts that I have been enjoying the current series of Entourage way too much. It has had some great scenes, and some interesting plot developments. For those of you who are waiting to see it on DVD,  you may wish to look away now, because in order to explain some real-life news, I have to talk about some series developments that occurred in last Sunday’s episode.

A couple of episodes ago, Turtle, the fat, hairy but very likable character played by that one guy, benefited from some ‘hand relief’ while sitting next to actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler on a plane. She’s the one that played Meadows Soprano in….errrrr….. the Sopranos…. In Entourage, she plays herself . Last Sunday, in the show, the scriptwriters pushed the bounds of credibility by having Jamie-Lynn call Turtle up for a booty-call  – and it looked like they were making progress toward a permanent boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

The unbelievable news is, they are DATING IN REAL LIFE!

Can we say "punching above his weight"?

Now I know that the typical rivercityvibe reader is tall, lean, and well-dressed, but it must give someone, somewhere, a ray of hope that round little Turtle, with his back-hair and man-boobs can trap an acceptable piece of ass like Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

[By the way, it appears Jamie-Lynn’s another one! What’s with the German name vibe?!  This is a bad one – like Sigler heil! Come to think of it, isn’t Turtle Italian? This is the Axis Powers in a Hollywood couple. Watch out Abbysinia. Make your preparations now, Libya. They’ll be recreating the battle of Mersa Matruh in their bedroom before Jamie-Lynn can say Gott in Himmel!]

Jaime Pressly, who I had never heard of until she played herself as one of Vinnie Chase’s pieces of strange in Entourage, has apparently split up with her boyfriend, resulting in her questionable mugshot being posted all over the interweb.   I have to say, I am not impressed. Am I the only one that finds her a little …. man-ish?

I will no doubt get called out on this point. I can see the conversation now:

Misguided fool: “But she’s beautiful. Her features are ‘elfin'”

Joe Bones: “Yeah, I hate ‘elfin’. Apart from the pointy nose thing, it is often used as code for  ‘no tits’.”

Misguided fool: “Oh”

To misquote the Bee Gees, I win again!

MojoHD is quickly turning into my favorite basic cable channel. It cannot really compete with the high budget output of HBO or Sho (Entourage and Californication spring to mind] but shows like Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey (made-up name) have made regular watchers of Joe and his buddies. Who doesn’t want to watch a guy visit the fleshpots of the world in order to test the ways in which the locals get shitfaced?

[My regular thing has just pointed out that the answer to that question is “women”. Thanks for the input]

Anyway, they’ve gone one better. Now the guy is traipsing around the world trying to get laid.

Awesome premise. Awesome show.

This time, the protagonist’s made-up name is Eric Van Wyck (trying to ‘dip his ‘Van Wyck’, no doubt. Ha.)

This is him in action:

If you visit the MojoHD website there is a forum where viewers can leave their own observations. As with most fora (or forums in internet-ese) this one is populated with some seriously strange rangers who are WAY too into this. I tell you this to warn you. Here is a cautionary example:

that’s was out of control!
what exactly was tacking place under that blanket (Mexico tour)
and what did they extract from her and put on a paper plate that was meant for a slice of pizza
first i was disgusted, and then, in a matter of seconds, I was actually turned on, SHA-WING!!!!!
so are you officially “married” now?
Eric Vanwhatchyaname YOU’RE LIVIN’ THE DREAM

…. BEAU-TI-FUL…. YOUR BEAU-TI-FUL….

If you, like me, were of legal age to drink and know the opposite sex in the nineties, it is very likely, that you love, to the point of obsession, the movie Point Break (1991).

Which one of us can honestly claim that we have not used the phrase “Back off, Warchild” in faux seriousness for the amusement of our buddies? I mean…. all of us, right?

The movie was awesome.  Not only was it a break out part from the guy from Bill and Ted, but it also introduced Gary Busey, a man who until recent Entourage cameos exited our consciousness as quickly as he entered.

Well, Busey is back in a big way, with the National Enquirer running a story headlined:

GARY BUSEY SNORTED COKE OFF DOG

Not all there?

The story focuses on Busey’s drug habits before he sustained the traumatic brain injury that is often cited as the reason for his off-the-wall antics.

The Buddy Holly star who claims he’s been sober for years admits he went cuckoo for canine after his dog rolled in the priceless china white.

“I went in like a crop-duster with my nose flying first and snorted the cocaine off the dog,” Busey said in a recent interview.

But Busey got more than coke up his nose as he snorted dog stuff up as well.

“You get a little bugs, you get little hairs, you get grease and goo from the ground; it’s not at all a healthy thing to do.

Nice.

Let’s remember him in better times. For the Point Break trailer, click HERE.

I have to say, Series 5 is very good. After a lackluster Series 4, Entourage has recaptured some of its old magic. Five episodes in, only one was a dud (the Joshua Tree road trip. Okay. Not great.)

In the last episode (now available on HBO On Demand) Turtle became Drama’s assistant for the day, fulfilling his crazy requests (who knew that Raisin Bran raisins were sugar coated? I checked this morning. Drama’s right). Dom is back – in trouble again – but something’s changed, and Ari is betting Vince’s career on a round of golf.

Johnny Drama has the privilege of speaking the final line of the episode. Probably the best line of the series so far. Three words.

It’s back on our screens. Vinny has a beard and looks like a kiddie-fiddler. Drama is in love with the French chick with a Viking fetish from Season 4. Turtle is getting laid (he has had to go to Mexico to do it….) and Eric is slowly morphing into Ari. Check out the suits on the beach:

I have always loved Entourage. Remind me to tell you sometime how similar my removal from a big agency was to Ari’s firing in Series 2 …….. My speech was better though. Apart from the fact that it was delivered under my breath in the cab on the way home.

Season 5 is on HBO 10 pm Sundays. Episode 1 available On Demand right now. I’ll probably watch it again at lunchtime.