rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I am going to have to seek out some karmic balance today, to make up for the content of this post. You see, it is a celebration of violence against a former Assclown of the Week winner.

Basically, I am going to have to spin a hundred prayer wheels and then free Tibet to get out of this one, because to compound it all, the guy in question is a gay and it is not cool by any standards to bash the gays. Celebrating it, as I am here, pretty much needs an intervention from His Holiness the Dalai Lama to avoid coming back as a roach.

I am of course, talking about that loudmouth assclown Perez Hilton. Here is a picture of Perez having his clock cleaned (as he so richly deserves, the snivelling little shit). Enjoy:

As you can see by the AWESOME LOGO this comes from a sort of rivercityvibe for insecure canadians called drinktheglitter.com. It shows the moment at which a member of the Black Eyed Peas entourage dispenses with Perez after witnessing Perez (real name “I am an attention whore”) calling rapper Will.I.Am a “fag”.

So that’s it. We’re in the clear of all accusations of celebrating gay bashing. It turns out that the gays hate Perez too. Those worthies at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) had this to say:

“We have reached out to Hilton and asked him to apologize for promoting this anti-gay slur, and we would ask media outlets to avoid repetition of the slur in their coverage of this story.
For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is, quote, ‘The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,’ is incredibly dangerous.
It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes.”

Nicely put. Here’s another picture of Perez. I would love to know what the Queer Eyes guys think of him.

I think that’s enough Perez, for a while.

This week we awarded Michele Bachmann the coveted Assclown of the Week award. I am not going to link to it – scroll down. Elizabeth, one of my top assets, sent the picture below in and it is too good not to use. It is Assclown Bachmann AS AN ACTUAL CLOWN. How awesome is that?

Send in the clowns. They're already here.

Okay, no surprises this week. Assclown of the Week is that inveterate fuckwit Michelle Bachmann (R) of Minnesota. In a congress crammed to the gills with comedy fools, Bachmann still manages to stand-out like a dog poo on a pool deck.

This week, she weighed in on the Swine Flu debate. Apparently the global (non-) pandemic is the Democratic party’s fault – mostly the President’s.

The eyes. Dead giveaway.

Many have said that Bachmann was just echoing what ol’ fatty Limbaugh had already said. I think there can be no doubt that this elected (how?) official marches to the sound of Rush’s guns. However, she still looked VERY SILLY when she said the following:

“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”

This pointless party-political nonsense makes sensible people of all political hues roll their eyes. It’s bad for America, and when it is inexpertly deployed by the likes of Bachmann, you can actually feel yourself become a little more stupid…….

….particularly since the seventies swine flu outbreak occurred during Gerald Ford’s administration. He was a Republican, FYI.

Nice one Congresswoman. I for one wish you a long and vocal career in politics.

You make it easy for me.

When I first heard of the uproar in New York over an Air Force One lookey-likey flying low over the city for a photo op, I was inclined to dismiss it, citing Bones Rule #3 (“Everyone is outraged about everything. All the time”). This inclination grew stronger when I heard of the reaction of that blowhard Mayor Bloomberg, stamping his feet and snorting.

Then I saw the footage from on the ground:

This brought home to me precisely how visceral the reaction of New Yorker’s must have been. It is the White House and the Pentagon’s responsibility to take this into account and plan for it (a simple public service announcement would have sufficed), but they didn’t, so the man responsible, Louis Caldera, wins rivercityvibe’s Assclown of the Week. Well done, Louis.

Caldera is the Director of the White House Military Office. There have been calls for him to resign, or be fired. Frankly, if the Director of the CIA didn’t resign after 9/11, and the Secretary of Defense didn’t resign after the failure to find WMD in Iraq, there’s probably no case for this. Right? That’s the way we roll, these days? Nobody need resign. Ever.

But he is an assclown, nevertheless.

“Perez Hilton’s” mean-spirited attack on Miss California, who during the Miss USA competition dared to express rather a mainstream view about gay marriage (not one I share, by the way, before the haters get started), is beneath contempt. For this, he is awarded Assclown of the Week.

Of course, I realize what is happening here. The resulting coverage from his tantrum has not only raised the profile of an issue important to him, but has also increased the notoriety that he craves. This converts to unique views of his site, which he can then monetize with advertising. We fell for it, I’m afraid. He is manipulating us all, even me, as a write this. He is an evil Svengali. I can do no other than his bidding……..

Actually, that’s bullshit. I only used the story as an excuse to post this picture of a super-hot Miss California. She was robbed of the title:

Extremist?

I’m going to level with you. I have not the slightest interest in any opinion this young lady might have.

And don’t say that’s sexist.

Because it’s not.