Florida/Georgia sets new standard for beer bongs……  

Posted at 12:38 pm in Best things about Jacksonville

So we got to the game early. I was riding with Kenny P and McPolish. Benny Anderson off of ABBA had foolishly over-indulged the night before and was missing, believed vomiting. We were meeting up with my buddy III who is the king of this sort of celebration……

My regular thing dropped us off in her experimental water craft (which she claims was built by Israeli Special Forces for Littoral Operations in the Sea of Galilee. Maybe.) We were inserted at Jacksonville Landing. The first person we saw was this guy:

CIMG1792

He was a Gator, for the record

I think that counts as One for the Ladies….. As we pushed further into the mayhem (via weak and pricey shots at that place that used to be Gaslights. The shots had fruit in them. so actually had the effect of sobering me up. Hardly their purpose), I began to get the impression that this year was going to be off the hook. This was 100% confirmed when I saw this:

CIMG1793 2

An engineering marvel

It was a mobile, gas-pressured, three way beer bong that can deliver three cans of beer to three participants, in under three seconds.

I like them apples a lot.

The legend who was in charge of it has a future as an impresario (apparently he’ll need something. Five years of college and a sophomore already……) No sooner had I explained who I was and that all the Russians (ex-soldiers and strippers, mainly) were part of my entourage, than he grasped what he must do. He lined up three beautiful girls and arranged a demonstration. Here is my photographic essay on the subject…..

CIMG1795 1

Feeding the Beast

CIMG1797 2

Adopt the position

CIMG1798 3

Bend zee knees (if you like)

CIMG1799 4

Chin it, Padre!

CIMG1800 belch

Clear. Ease springs.

Each one of them earned a cheer from the crowd as they emitted, one by one, three of the most lady-like beer belches I have ever heard. They were a pleasure, beginning to end. I was rather lost in music, at this stage, so I did not get anyone’s name. Email me if you want credit, girls and boys. I am afraid it won’t count in class, though……

So that was a highlight. Incidentally, we saw the Fifth Column again. There was plenty more of the usual naughtiness. As tradition dictates, I did not attend the game, or know what the score was. I presume the Gators won……

Written by Joe Bones on November 2nd, 2009

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5 Responses to 'Florida/Georgia sets new standard for beer bongs……'

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  1. Benny’s “Promise”

    To the fans and everybody in Gator Nation, I’m sorry. I’m extremely sorry. I was hoping for an unsober season. That was my goal – something I have never achieved.

    I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see anybody in the entire country party as hard as I will party the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the rest of his drinking buddies as hard as I will push everybody the rest of this season.

    You will never see a group party harder than we will the rest of the season. God Bless.

    – Benny Anndersson
    October 31, 2009

    Benny Andersson

    2 Nov 09 at 1:29 pm

  2. i heard that in a surprise come back, hawaii swooped in and won.

    (formerly) Big Bob

    2 Nov 09 at 6:44 pm

  3. oh, and those girls rock. if they turn up, send them my way.

    (formerly) Big Bob

    2 Nov 09 at 6:45 pm

  4. In the spirit of of Rivercity Vibe and Kid Russ. Kenny P. bellied up to the 3-Legged Beer Monster and proclaimed “I’ll do one”. And yes I did put my mouth on the middle leg, but that does not make me gay!

    Kenny P.

    3 Nov 09 at 9:16 am

  5. Life is too short for bad beer. :-)

    Craft Beer

    4 Jan 10 at 11:51 am

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