Archive for August, 2009

Strange illuminated mannequins (and Harpoon Louies)   2 comments

Posted at 3:07 pm in rivercityvibe

I went to Harpos for a liquid lunch. I was astonished to learn that my companions, Benny from ABBA and Dupree McPolish Layabout, were not familiar with the oeuvre of German synthpop trio Alphaville.

Unbelievable, I know.

For a minute, I thought I had dropped through one of those wormholes in the space/time continuum (always happening to me). When this occurs, I find things I take for granted no longer exist (on one memorable occasion, for example, ears vanished from my universe). In this case all was okay. I checked with our accomplished waitress who immediately reeled off a list of Alphaville’s most popular tracks, starting with Forever Young (yes, they wrote it)and finishing with Big in Japan.

It turns out my lunch companions are just crap lunch companions, when it comes to music.

Quite an 80s vibe.

I am not sure what freaks me out more, the Teutonic English (“..izzy ven you’re big in Japan….”) or the fact that the singer looks EXACTLY like philanderer and IVF fan, Jon Gosselin

Written by Joe Bones on August 7th, 2009

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I literally never thought this day would come….*   3 comments

Posted at 2:46 pm in rivercityvibe

I miss the days when Britney Spears was super hot. Lately, your mom turns me on more. So it is with some misgivings that I, for the first time on rivercityvibe, (drum roll please, Alan**) post an up-to-date picture of Britney in a bikini. I do this for educational purposes. I hope to stimulate a national debate. I leave it in your hands. Do with it what you will.

britney bikini 01

Apart from the granny panties, I call that not at all bad.

* I use the word “literally” in the way that very stupid people do, to mock them, basically.

** Like I know anyone called Alan. As if. What am I, a bus driver?

Written by Joe Bones on August 7th, 2009

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Knockin’ me out with those American thighs….   2 comments

Posted at 4:48 pm in Best things about Jacksonville

We have already discussed my history with rockers AC DC and the way, to me, the band will forever be associated with Flash Gordon (and those pesky Lion Men of Mongo). Whatever. Anyway, they are playing Veteran’s Arena here in the river city on October 30th.

That’s right.

The night before Florida/Georgia.

That weekend is going to be Pretty. Fucking. Huge. I counsel you all (every one of you) not to miss it. (with whom I am about to have a feud about their unethical love of hipsters) report,

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame band AC/DC will bring its “Black Ice” Tour to Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena on Friday, Oct. 30 — the night before the Florida-Georgia game is played across the parking lot.

Tickets for the Australian hard rockers show go on sale at 10 a.m. Friday through the arena box office, and Ticketmaster outlets. All tickets are $90.50.

Here’s a reminder, plus lyrics……

She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin’ me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there

‘Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you –

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

Working double time
On the seduction line
She was one of a kind, she’s just mine all mine
Wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I’m back in the ring to take another swing

‘Cause the walls were shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you –


And knocked me out and then you
Shook me all night long
You had me shakin’ and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me
Well you took me


Your really took me and you
Yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me
All night long

Ten kinds of awesome, my fellow rockers.

Written by Joe Bones on August 6th, 2009

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