Archive for October, 2008

Something for the Weekend # 4   no comments

Posted at 2:14 pm in rivercityvibe

This young lady is starring in the new James Bond film. I shall have much more to say about her shortly, so I’ll dispense with the biographical details, for now:

That's a whole quantum of solace, right there......

That's a whole quantum of solace, right there......

I need a lie-down.

Written by Joe Bones on October 31st, 2008

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Cop caught stealing donuts…..   no comments

Posted at 7:12 am in rivercityvibe

You could not make this story up – a gift, an absolute gift. Anything that links cops with donuts connects us  to a deep vein of humor running through our society.

In this case, a campus police officer is accused of stealing $300 worth of donuts. When quizzed, he said, “All I wanted to do was achieve the perfect T.J. Hooker ‘look'”.

TJ Hooker - no stranger to donuts

T.J. Hooker - no stranger to donuts

NBC has the story. It says:

State police say an upstate New York college campus policeman was helping himself to free pastries at a local convenience store.

The Valero Nice N Easy offers free coffee to any police officer in uniform.

Sgt. Steve Brody of the Morrissville State College University stopped daily to buy a newspaper and pick up a free cup of coffee. He also routinely stuffed a pastry into his coat.

Actually, now I think about it, this guy was only campus police. State Police hate these renatacop guys. That said, no doubt university authorities will soon have Sgt. Brody back on duty busting Iraq war veteran freshman for the crime of drinking beer at age 20.

Written by Joe Bones on October 31st, 2008

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Countdown to the game……   no comments

Posted at 9:16 am in Best things about Jacksonville

My business interests had me moving in mysterious ways downtown, last night. I rarely go there, preferring to stick close to HQ or hideout in 32210. I was BLOWN away by the preparations for the Game, Saturday. Basically, the periphery of downtown has been turned into a series of RV parks and the tailgating has begun in earnest. This is on Wednesday. The game is Saturday.

For our foreign readers (this week we welcome Lithuania and the Seychelles to the party – sveiki and Bonjou, my friends!) the big deal is the annual football game between the University of Florida Gators and the University of Georgia bulldogs. It is played in Jacksonville every year and it is chaos, pure chaos. In a good way.

My camera went missing recently, (in circumstances that indicate the possible involvement of a meth head – more on the investigation and planned retribution to follow), so I was unable to take my own pics. The local rag is running a series:



Obviously, in common with most of Jacksonville, I won’t actually be going to the game, but I WILL be going to the tailgate and I’ll be taking a (new) camera. Keep your eyes open for me. If you are ridiculous enough, you could be featured on…. rivercityvibe!

Written by Joe Bones on October 30th, 2008

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Getting Abroad (it’s a double entendre)   no comments

Posted at 2:39 pm in rivercityvibe

MojoHD is quickly turning into my favorite basic cable channel. It cannot really compete with the high budget output of HBO or Sho (Entourage and Californication spring to mind] but shows like Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey (made-up name) have made regular watchers of Joe and his buddies. Who doesn’t want to watch a guy visit the fleshpots of the world in order to test the ways in which the locals get shitfaced?

[My regular thing has just pointed out that the answer to that question is “women”. Thanks for the input]

Anyway, they’ve gone one better. Now the guy is traipsing around the world trying to get laid.

Awesome premise. Awesome show.

This time, the protagonist’s made-up name is Eric Van Wyck (trying to ‘dip his ‘Van Wyck’, no doubt. Ha.)

This is him in action:

If you visit the MojoHD website there is a forum where viewers can leave their own observations. As with most fora (or forums in internet-ese) this one is populated with some seriously strange rangers who are WAY too into this. I tell you this to warn you. Here is a cautionary example:

that’s was out of control!
what exactly was tacking place under that blanket (Mexico tour)
and what did they extract from her and put on a paper plate that was meant for a slice of pizza
first i was disgusted, and then, in a matter of seconds, I was actually turned on, SHA-WING!!!!!
so are you officially “married” now?
Eric Vanwhatchyaname YOU’RE LIVIN’ THE DREAM


So  watch the show, but be careful out there. It is pretty funny. They seem to have an ugly one/pretty one thing going on.

Written by Joe Bones on October 28th, 2008

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Presidential dance-off…..   no comments

Posted at 7:14 pm in rivercityvibe

Now this is more like it. The best bit is at the end, so keep watching. Awesome.

Written by Joe Bones on October 27th, 2008

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The OTHER election Cougar visits the Fox…….   no comments

Posted at 1:36 pm in rivercityvibe

Cindy McCain, the other hot (-ish) republican cougar in the Presidential campaign, brunched at the Fox in Avondale, yesterday.  She was joined by Rudi Giuliani, who I have always thought, underneath it all, would be a good guy to go for a cold one with.

Maybe in Monty’s, a few doors down. Drinking starts there about brunchtime.

Not Mrs. McCain

Not Mrs. McCain

According to Channel 4, Mrs. McCain had this to say about her husband’s chances in Florida:

“I just believe in the good sense of the American people,” ……. “I believe we’re going to win Florida because I believe people, when it comes right down to it, they don’t want higher taxes.”

These re-pubs keep going on about higher taxes. How important is that compared with the fact that opponent Barack Obama has NEVER OWNED A DOG?

It’s true. Look it up. It has sent people close to Joe into agonies of political self-doubt.

[I like the Fox for breakfast. It is probably the best place within two miles of Bones HQ. But I have two reservations: 1. They always add, unsolicited, bits of fruit on the side of your plate, and 2. I think one of the waitresses is an emo. More on this later.]

Written by Joe Bones on October 27th, 2008

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Today is trash day…..   no comments

Posted at 12:36 pm in rivercityvibe

Coincidentally, Zip Code 90210 has the same trash day as Zip Code 32210. Here are some pictures of lovely Tracy Bingham putting out the trash, this morning, in West Beverly Hills:

Not dissimilar to the scenario at Bone's house this morning

Not dissimilar to the scenario at Bone's hideout, this morning.

Good wheelie-bin skills

Good skills

My main takeaway from this is that this young lady has three large trash cans of different colors (one not shown). What’s all that about? I mean, how many people live in her house?

Written by Joe Bones on October 27th, 2008

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Google’s new toy….   no comments

Posted at 11:44 am in rivercityvibe

The airshow was awesome and some pics will be up soon. While I am in the mood, you need to know that if I was the kind of person who had earned billions of dollars from a website, I’d be the kind of person to spend it on a “light attack jet.”

Because, apparently, these kinds of weapons are available to billionaire businessmen like the Google Geeks, Sergey Brin and Larry Page. Go Second Amendment!

No less a news source than the New York Times reports that Google has added to its fleet of aircraft with one of these bad boys:

Other owners include, evidently, the Luftwaffe.

Other owners include, evidently, the Luftwaffe.

If I was Microsoft, I’d be seriously considering investing some of those Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funds in a couple of THESE.

I wonder if this acquisition has helped advance the Google Geek’s ongoing quest to finally, at long last, get laid………..

Written by Joe Bones on October 27th, 2008

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Something for the weekend # 3   no comments

Posted at 1:51 pm in rivercityvibe
The lovely Veronika Zemanova

The lovely Veronika Zemanova

Hot dang-diggety.

The usual source gives us the following fascinating facts:

Her original stage name was Eva, but due to a production error her real name was accidentally published, so at that point she dropped the pseudonym. Zemanová has appeared in a number of united States and United Kingdom pictorial publications……

A low-budget British independent film, Zemanovaload, about a man obsessed with the model, was released in 2005. It starred the Irish comedian Ed Byrne.

I am not going to lie to you. I approve of this young lady.

Enjoy. I’ll be at the airshow if you need me.

Written by Joe Bones on October 24th, 2008

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Let’s face it, Point Break was a highpoint   no comments

Posted at 1:11 pm in rivercityvibe

If you, like me, were of legal age to drink and know the opposite sex in the nineties, it is very likely, that you love, to the point of obsession, the movie Point Break (1991).

Which one of us can honestly claim that we have not used the phrase “Back off, Warchild” in faux seriousness for the amusement of our buddies? I mean…. all of us, right?

The movie was awesome.  Not only was it a break out part from the guy from Bill and Ted, but it also introduced Gary Busey, a man who until recent Entourage cameos exited our consciousness as quickly as he entered.

Well, Busey is back in a big way, with the National Enquirer running a story headlined:


Not all there?

Not all there?

The story focuses on Busey’s drug habits before he sustained the traumatic brain injury that is often cited as the reason for his off-the-wall antics.

The Buddy Holly star who claims he’s been sober for years admits he went cuckoo for canine after his dog rolled in the priceless china white.

“I went in like a crop-duster with my nose flying first and snorted the cocaine off the dog,” Busey said in a recent interview.

But Busey got more than coke up his nose as he snorted dog stuff up as well.

“You get a little bugs, you get little hairs, you get grease and goo from the ground; it’s not at all a healthy thing to do.


Let’s remember him in better times. For the Point Break trailer, click HERE.

Written by Joe Bones on October 24th, 2008

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